I am sitting here, finally facing the empty page again, with soft waves of sadness gently lapping through me.
I don’t know why. My mind could come up with many explanations: that I was touched in hearing from a friend and knowing how much gut wrenching pain she is in right now; the news I heard on the radio about the unfolding horrors in Syria; someone I love very much who is losing her baby right now; reconnecting with the young part of myself who felt (and feels) helpless, alone and lost in a bewildering world…
But right now, I am not interested in following any of these threads or dwelling on them. Life is just sad at times, very sad. Just as it is beautiful and rich. Just as it is complicated and unfathomable. Just as it is infuriating. Just as it is filled with wonder. Just as it is tedious or stuck. Just as it is like this.
Not attempting to find reasons, explanations or solutions to any of it, is relaxing me. Muscle after muscle loosening its grip, lowering me so gently into this ocean of sadness which – in being welcomed – is surprisingly soothing and held in an enfolding peace.